Make-do and Mend.

23 thoughts on “Make-do and Mend.”

  1. I have never experienced grief on this level but you explain it so vividly. Your words are beautiful and what a lovely tribute to your brother. I think it’s such a lovely, healing thing to mend his jumper xx

  2. Hey T.
    My mother passed away 10 years ago & one of my most precious possessions I inherited was her magnificent winter coat. It’s special not only because it was hers & its beautiful – but because it was her ‘ good coat’ & was worn on dress up occasions. As such – I have many young memories of my beautiful mother – dressed up & wearing ‘the coat’. This in turn means that when I wear it – and people comment on how lovely it is – I can share a beautiful memory that is heartfelt & feels like spring.
    It’s wonderful that a piece of clothing can keep the person with you. Lots of love to you –
    Heather xxx

    1. Thanks for sharing your story, Heather. I remember your mum coming to the movies with our mother’s group and helping me by cuddling Miss S whilst I held Miss E during the film. She was a lovely person x

  3. After my brother died, I found a un-washed Tintin t shirt that he used to wear a lot. It smelled of his sweat. I slept with it for the earliest weeks after his death. It take such along time for grief to settle into you, for you to settle into grief, in my experience at least. Perhaps in time you will be able to celebrate your brother’s birthdays with his favourite foods, and songs and love. This is what i do now, but I am many years down the track. Just remember that there is no set time limit that you should put on yourself in regards to grief. xx

    1. Thanks for your words of wisdom and comfort, Dani. I’m doing my best to not push grief away, but to just let it come at me. I’m hoping this will be the best way to absorb it and learn to live with it. Strangely, it feels like a precious thing.

      1. You just need to do what is right for you. And be kind to yourself. And there’s nothing strange about feeling your grief to be a precious thing, it connects you to your brother and all that he was x

  4. Grief is terrible isn’t it. Just when you feel like perhaps you’re getting a grip on it it rears up and knocks you sideways. It’s still very early days for you, I think the hardest is all the ‘firsts’. My Mum died quite suddenly three years ago and I wear her winter coat, I feel that it’s like a warm cuddle from her. Every now and then I open the box that her dress watch is in, and I can still smell her perfume. It’s relief and grief all rolled into one – so thankful I can still smell her, so raw that this is all there is left. There is no easy way to navigate it. Keep being kind to yourself. xx

    1. Thank you, Annette. I do feel more hopeful now. It’s been a steep and cruel learning curve.

  5. Sad and touching words, but also beautiful. Even your images portray so much. I feel like by taking care of the jumper, you are also taking care of yourself and your grief and that is so precious.

    1. It’s funny how his things make me feel connected to him somehow. It’s the same with his camera.

  6. You’ve touched my heart again. I’ve always felt like it was the “firsts” that were the hardest. The first birthday after they’ve gone, the first wedding, the first Christmas… All of those things are a reminder of what has been lost.

    I still wear one of my dads jumpers. My grandma knitted it in the late sixties. A lurid blue cable knit. Cosy in more ways then one.

    Hugs and kind thoughts to you. X

    1. I’m dreading the first anniversary of his death. That will be a hard and emotional time. Thanks for the hugs.

  7. Beautiful post and tribute to your brother, Therese. I’m sure every time you wear the sweater you will feel his love wrapping itself around you xx

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